24 November, 2014

Hard things

My dear friends,

I'm sorry.

I'm an on-again-off-again blogger... consistency in any social media form is just not my strong suit. If I am posting to instagram, then the blog gets forgotten—or vice-versa.  I don't know what my deal is really... I promise I don't neglect any of my children this way.

BUT this time I have a good reason for not keeping up... we have had a really HARD time since Ian's surgery. In an emotional, life-sucking, punch to the gut kind of way.  A week after Ian's surgery we started noticing things that at first I questioned. "Am I being an overly worried mother, or is this something I should be concerned about?"

Do y'all do this too? I want to trust my gut but I needed a little confidence to call the doctor. So Monday morning I was on the phone... left a detailed message for surgical at CHOA. I kept my phone in my pocket all day, waiting. And waiting. No call on Monday. Tuesday I called back and the recording says "do not leave duplicate messages"... Yeah, fat chance. By now I'm in full momma bear mode and my message was pretty direct. I NEED A CALL BACK.

So I started scrolling through my directory of folks we'd dealt with at CHOA, I called our urologist and emailed a PA over there, begging for a direct line or better way to get our doctor.

I finally got our doctor late Tuesday afternoon. She was concerned that he was still in pain and had a fever but didn't seem as upset by what I was seeing... which was gruesome to say the least, and I will spare you the details.

Right after I got off the phone, our urologist returned my call from my early frantic attempt. Sweet man. He was concerned and asked for me to send him pictures of the surgical site. He said Ian definitely had an infection and that he hoped we got ahead of this in enough time to let oral antibiotics work (he said "staph infection" and "we would need to go to the hospital if this didn't work." I panicked.

Looooong story short, this has been extremely difficult. It seems this surgery was unsuccessful and he will need to have another surgery with a temporary colostomy (to give him time to heal). The biggest victory has been that I feel like Ian and I have grown leaps and bounds. It was my prayer request to bond closer and that unquestionably happened.

Ian has been in a lot of pain, but has been in such good spirits despite it all. My sweet little boy was smiling from the moment they wheeled him back to us in the hospital and throughout this all. This has not been easy for him. Sitting has been pure torment. My precious momma took Mae to and from school every day. And we've been cooped up for two weeks. BUT his infection is gone. AND he is feeling much better.

We canceled our Thanksgiving plans, so it's likely you will see us at the Cracker Barrel, but here's my deep breath and my letting go.

Tomorrow is a new day. And I can do hard things.



  1. You can absolutely do hard things because the power of the almighty God is in you. He knew what would be required of you through all of this and he chose YOU to be Ian's Mama. "The Lord is with you, might warrior." You are loved and prayed for in every detail. Much love & a Happy Thanksgiving from the Radtkes.

  2. Oh Kristin, So sorry to hear about the complications and further surgeries. Of course you are a wonderful mother and so you see the silver lining in the bonding you and Ian have done. He now knows you are his momma and will always take care of him and do what needs to be done for him. And hey, who doesn't love Cracker Barrel!

  3. Kristen, I'm so sorry this had been so hard on you both. I'm very glad you trusted your instincts and made the calls to the Dr. Most of the time mommy knows best, especially when it comes to your kids. You are with them and know them inside and out. You are an experienced mother of 3 now, you have a lot of knowledge to pull from. We love you all.


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