Unfortunately, every so often we get someone that says things that bring out the momma bear.
On Monday we had Jovie's cardiology consult before her big surgery. I rode up in the elevator with one of those people. She started by asking if they were adopted and then told me she had a daughter from China that they adopted "with a handicap" she said this so loudly and so many times all I could think of was her daughter and her self worth. This was the only descriptor she gave of her child. Made my heart break. Again, our children are picking up on their parents responses and her mother was not speaking with admiration. She continues to tell me more than once "she was abandoned at birth by her parents because of her handicap" I wish you could hear her say it, I have 2 year olds that are learning the English languange and I wanted to cover their ears. The manner in which she said it was nails scratching down a chalkboard. It made me cringe. And then she said "is anything wrong with them?" pointing to my precious children.
Do I punch her in the face? No, but I have thought of this woman and her daughter very much over the past 2 days. I was nice enough to her and she never realized how very offensive she was to me. When the elevator doors opened I wheeled my precious babies away as fast as I could.
What will happen when my kids are older and we are asked questions like this? The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:15, But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,
Despite the bad encounters, I am daily amazed that God is using our children's stories to point to Him. I am honored to tell people these children are adopted. And in retort to the woman who so casually stated a word I will do my best to shield from my children's ears, abandonment, I hope that we can be a light. Because we see how God has planned the way. We do not believe any part of their story was an accident - we believe that Mae, Ian and Jovie were loved enough by their birth parents for them to turn them over to people that would be able to provide them with medical help that they were not able to give them. We do not know very much of their beginnings and despite the circumstances or reason we will never know. We do know that their mighty Father was there with them from the very moment they took their first breath; their days are already written.
As followers of Christ, we are called to be witnesses of what Jesus has done in us and for us. A little less than five years ago I never wanted to have children. I was happy with the life I shared with Cody. Over the last five years I have listened to God and seen time, after time where following Him has given me more rewards than I could ever imagine. Rewards not only in the beauty of raising three amazing children but also because I have seen God work in a mighty way in my life. He is unchangeable, full of power, our maker, our savior, our redeemer, our healer, our deliverer, our strength, and worthy of praise.
Beautifully written sweet Mama!!
ReplyDeleteLove this post Kristen! You are a wonderful Mama Bear!
ReplyDeleteWell written and said. You are a blessing from God yourself, Kristen, I do not think I would have been able to keep still, polite tongue in my head, with the rudeness/insensitiveness of that woman.
ReplyDeleteOh dear Kristen I have so much to say…..First I'll speak as an adopted child myself. I was days old when my parents adopted me. I always knew that we were wanted and meant to be their children. And I felt that way bc my parents made sure we always knew that. Your children will be fine, they will KNOW that they were wanted. I always knew that it was God's plan for me, for my parents.
ReplyDeleteYou might at some point hear the…oh they are so lucky you adopted them. (My folks heard that a few times) and you will have the perfect answer because I know that about you even though we have not met. My mom used to have that same perfect answer for anyone that said that.
And lastly I will tell you what my beloved mom (who I lost in Oct and miss so terribly) would say to you about that woman and others like her. "Honey, she is a doh doh. She doesn't know any better". (That should be with a french accent from the cutest little feisty Belgium woman EVER!) My mom would say that and anytime I'd come across someone like that I would repeat in my head…"honey, they are Doh dohs".
You and Cody are wonderful and some people are DOH DOHS!!!
Praise GOD for your precious ones! LOVE you!!!
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