zhengzhou orphanage

Yesterday we visited the zhougzhou civil welfare institute. This is where Mae was and we learned yesterday that Jovie was here a good bit too. When the orphanage director came with Jovie on gotcha day he saw Mae and immediately knew who she was and remembered how she would get high fevers. He had a ton of pictures of her on his phone and took more of her now. He told us he wanted to share these pictures with her foster mom. He did and she was so happy to see her so big now and doing so well. She said this is the first child that she's fostered that she's gotten to hear about since they left her care. Later he called our guide and asked if her foster mom could meet us at the orphanage. 

I was very torn, I wanted to meet the woman that cared for Mae but I was afraid it would scare Mae. She doesn't remember anything about her to our knowledge. We didn't want to make it a big deal with her but I thought she might try to pick her up and I was bracing myself to be momma bear if anything upset her. 

Sadly, but maybe fortunately the foster mom could not make it there and we did not get the opportunity to meet her. We believe Mae was with her in her home for 5 months before we got her. 

The orphanage has a whole new building than when we were there before- making it twice as big. The new part is decorated really cool with big trees in the foyer, bright colors and has tons of classrooms and activities. The old part is just concrete and sterile looking to me with a few painted pictures on the wall.

This woman was Jovie's preschool teacher and she loved Jovie and walked with us and told us about her.

We went to the old building and visited the Lily Orphan room where Mae was and learned that Jovie spent the first 7 months of her life here as well. Jovie's past has been unknown to us and we are sure glad to put the pieces together. How incredible that the same nannies took care of both of my girls!!! They all knew Ding Juan (Mae) and were happy we brought her to show them. We didn't tell Mae anything about why we were there and immediately she walked into the room and totally unphased said "this is where I lived when I was a baby". The only thing that had changed were the beds were pink and blue, instead of the wooden.

The next thing that happened I was NOT prepared for... I thought Jovie had been with Show Hope the whole time and honestly I wouldn't have even gone to orphanage if it wasn't for the other families already going. They took us outside and around the back of the orphanage and there were tall buildings full of apartments. They said Jovie has been living with a family here. I never pictured anything like this the whole time I dreamed of her. We walked into the home and were met by a woman who immediately started sobbing when she saw Jovie. She starting pulling her out of the carrier... There was no arguing with her! She held Jovie and cried and wouldn't make eye contact with me for a while.

She said she hadn't slept since they took her on Monday. The guide told her not to hold her for long time and so she gave her back to me. Jovie didn't cry while we were there she just looked scared.

Jovie has lived with her for last 3 months. It was great to meet her and thank her for loving her. She said she would sleep tonight knowing she was okay. We went to leave and her foster mom asked Jovie if she could hold her again and Jovie shook her head no (she still took her again) but I was so glad to see Jovie has bonded with me.

Here's all the families in our group that also have zhengzhou babies.

And here is the orphanage director that brought both Mae and Jovie to us on Gotcha Day.

Both of my girls want my lap... You can see here how Jovie doesn't like to share me. There's a little competition here.

Our boy sucks his thumb to fall asleep. And I'm so happy to say he did NOT sleep in his shoes last night!!! And Cody hid them so today when he dressed him he just put on different shoes that we had brought, and he hasn't asked for them back.

Kissing Cheeks!

I feel like adoption is just a wild roller coaster of emotions.  And, ever since we received the update on Friday I have been unable to shake the knot in my stomach, frog in my throat, and have constantly been on the verge of tears.  This is so tough. I want so badly to know about our children and receive these updates, but it really messes me up.

So all that to say, last night I was trying to research the foster home that we were told Ian is in.  I kept googling and never did find much on Angel's Home.  I did however find a thread on a forum of someone saying that their son started in Pingdingshan CWI and went to Angel's home and that there was a website. So, I emailed the person that wrote this, hoping I could reach her.  My hope was to maybe see some pictures of the facility (like we found on Jovie's foster home's site.)

This morning the woman that I contacted wrote back and what we have found is so unbelievably more than pictures of the facility... it was a page dedicated to our boy, with pictures.

The above pictures were posted in December, and they said that he started walking without assistance, he rarely gets sick, and that he's clingy and likes to be held. 

 

These were taken right after he turned one years old. I am going to go nuts looking at the bottom right photo here. I can not stand how cute he is!!

And these were baby pictures when he first got to Angel's home. He weighed only 7lbs. 4oz when he arrived at 2 months old. We know he spent the first 80 days in the hospital... so he went straight here and has been here the whole time.  This is so great to put the pieces together!

Also, this foster home seems WONDERFUL (just like Jovie's) and if we were to choose the places our children would be, these foster homes are pretty much the best.

So, we know a little more about our son and these pictures have actually helped me today.  They are pictures of him in his environment, doing things, and that just says so much. Like how tiny he looks standing next that bicycle, and my gracious, those lips! (:

Photo Friday — Jovie

I haven't shared this little treasure yet —this is a picture of Jovie in January.  I love seeing a tiny glimpse of how she's grown.  She has teeth and oh my, the kissing cheeks!! When we were told Jovie was in New Hope orphanage I googled and found that they have a website... and a newsletter.  In January Jovie was supposed to receive heart surgery and this picture was taken before she left.  The caption said "Ysabelle went for heart surgery in Hangzhou." (To protect the children's identities the orphanage has picked names for them "Ysabelle," instead of using their real Chinese names.) We know that Jovie did go to Hangzhou but they were not able to perform the surgery that she needs — Jovie is missing the valve that pumps blood from the heart to her lungs. She will need open heart surgery and mechanical valve put in her heart when she comes home.  She will need 2 more surgeries to replace the mechanical valve before her 16th birthday.

The New Hope orphanage, where our baby girl is, is very special: it is privately run and funded by Show Hope Charity here in the US. There are doctors and nurses on call every day and these children get individualized care, as there are only about 30 children there.

Another big blessing is that they have heat in their building. Most of China does not have heat or air conditioning... this is huge for a heart baby.  Jovie's body is already struggling to get her blood circulating and staying warm this past winter would have been difficult for her.

Here are pictures of the orphanage where Jovie is:

Jungle Book room

Jungle Book room

laundry room

Ayi's closet

Ayi's kitchen

Nemo room

Nemo room

Nemo room

hallway

nurses

Snow White room

Peter Pan room

Peter Pan room

Peter Pan room

Peter Pan room

staff kitchen

staff kitchen

storage room

treatment room

treatment room

treatment room

Ian's beginning

Last week I was told about a Chinese blog from someone in Pingdingshan. I went to the blog and there are hundreds of pages of children abandoned... several posts in a day with different babies, all with special needs.  The site is in Chinese, so I used google translator and started going through it, hoping to find our son here. I found the post in April 26, 2011 when our son's estimated birthday is and just a few days later there were these pictures of him.  I knew it was Ian before I saw his name there, "Zhou TianYou"... and I bawled. The description written about him was alarming.  He was in critical condition and the hospital that they took him to could not preform the surgery he needed.  It went into more details than we were given in his file and I would not have known how sick he was... I would not have known the woman who saved his life.

I have since learned a little more about the author of this blog and why she had our son's picture posted. She is a nurse at the hospital in Pingdingshan and she specifically takes in the children that need urgent care but  are orphaned. These children are in need of life-saving surgery but there is no one to pay the bill.  This nurse is named Ms. Zhu, and she is a believer. I am crying now even writing this. God is using this woman to save the life of countless children, God's children. She is answering His calling at a great risk too.  It is not easy in China for a woman in this situation and she is going through difficult days as her husband just left her and her daughter. She has several sisters who help her in the work (they have been known as the 3 sisters). Ms. Zhu posts about these children to share with the Chinese community in order to raise funds to help these children, my son. She also works in remote villages and helps other Chinese Christians who help orphans.

So I have another piece of the puzzle to Ian's life—3 precious pictures of him as a newborn, and a person to continually keep in my prayers, Ms. Zhu.  You better believe I will be looking for her in heaven!! I am so grateful to have found this, but the weight of it about crushes me if I think about it too long. It is so difficult not knowing our children's past, not having any pictures, not knowing anything about their history, the people that loved them, the people they came from, and it is especially hard not knowing their present. I desperately want to know what Ian and Jovie are doing right now... and are they okay? It is tremendously difficult not being in our children's lives right now and missing this time. God has once again shown us HIS faithfulness in being there when we can not.

Ian was born just two week after we left China with Mae. We were home celebrating our first Easter when he was born.  At the time, I didn't even know of our son... but God has known all along, and I trust in His plan.

I just have to say, look at our baby boy's lips... those are the same lips I can't wait to kiss.

Happy Birthday Ian!!!

Today our precious son turns 2 years old. It is unbelievable how much you can love someone you've never met. This child has captivated my heart. It is KILLING me to have him half-way around the world and not in my arms. We don't know if he even knew today was any different. I don't know if one of his nannies knew to celebrate his precious 2 years of life today. (China is 12 hours ahead of us, so for him his birthday was happening while we were asleep last night). In China, I've heard that birthdays are not really celebrated... but our boy is certainly celebrated!! Yesterday we went to Sims Lake Park with my friends Melica and Shea and their children and ate birthday cupcakes and sang "happy birthday" to Ian.

If you've read our adoption story, you know it all started one day while I was out shopping and met this beautiful woman.  Melica was a stranger that day that started sharing her story of her amazing girls adopted from China. God used her to plant a seed and now look!!!

 Melica, Lily and Grace.  I love the red teeth and blue teeth! 

Shea with her daughter Stella, and Mae with her red icing. Shea is a dear and wonderful friend to me and we started our friendship many years ago; she was my sorority sister in college.  Now we live 3 minutes away from each other and her sweet Stella is only 1 month older than our baby Jovie. 

 Mae is always over the moon that these two big girls give her so much attention.  Lily let Mae ride her bike (first time on a big bike!!). 

 I am so happy and so sad at the same time. God has blessed us more than I could have ever imagined with THREE children. My arms ache for Ian and Jovie.  I dream about what their personalities are like... are they sweet and silly like Mae, are they reserved, do they have no reservations, how will the three of them play? My heart is filled to the brim. I am in constant struggle to live in the now and not let my focus be elsewhere. I knew God had been showing me that I needed to trust Him with His children and be happy for each day that I have with Mae.  These days that are just her and me... this is our last summer together where it's just the two of us at the table eating our oatmeal together.

We recently went to visit our friend, Sun, at her shop Soho at the Forum. We were so thrilled to share with her our news of our baby girl, Jovie. She is Chinese and we love hearing her insights on the little bit we are given about our children.  We were sharing with her Jovie's Chinese name, Ming Yu, and she went and got a piece of paper and wrote this:

She said this is the word "Ming Tian." Ming is our daughter's name and Tian our son's, and together they make the Chinese word "Ming Tian" = Tomorrow.  At that moment I felt God was reminding me again. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself." Matthew 6:34

Our children's name actually means tomorrow. (: that is a beautiful picture. 

Tian You, you are so very loved and even though today we are not together, we will continue to celebrate your life for forever. 

Happy birthday to our son and little brother!!